Trail # 155 – Lactose Free Milk & Cookies

Attempting to prove that AARP inductees still have it, Lactose
Tolerant gathered the troops for a quickie in Chantilly. The
assistants for this exercise were Everyone's On My Ass, White Kane
and the soon to be named Just William; funny thing that William is on
his 13th SH*T run and is still just a Just…SLACK A$$!

Starting on the reflectively hot pavement behind the AMC bowling
alley did a number on my hair, but I persevered long enough to get
the masses signed in and directed to the beer. We had another lively
turn out with newbie's Our Own Vanna and Naval Jelly continuing their
de-virginizing efforts. I guess that these two wankers didn't leave
any virgins in the Big Easy, not that there are many there (per
capita).

So we welcomed the fresh unwashed faces of Just Jennifer and Just
Josh (Vanna and Jelly), Just Dan (himself), and Just Ken (I Don't
Ride B*tch) to our holy union. And on the un-fresh and slightly
washed side we welcomed Pimpsicle, Tore Ass, Frick to Prick and the
far out-of-towner Sheik Xhoni (pronounced shā k
jǒńē or Shake Johnny
for you illiterate f*cks). Each visitor, virgin and newcomer had a
chance to dazzle us with abbreviated versions of who they were and
why they came but they're stories bored us so we Fathered up and took
off on trail.

Our Hares started us on a trip of wonderment behind the adjacent
strip mall, where Dixie Queen threatened to push me (and anyone else
in arm length) down the slope. From there they treated us to a trip
across 29 and into the Giant parking lot before sending the runner
pack back off a check 8. Cockspur the Friendly Host brashly declared
to Cum of a Cum of a Sailor that we (walkers) should have stayed on
the other side of 29 since he was positive the trail went that way.
No one listened and after trying, and failing, to keep up with Rodeo
F*cks counting/running pace we found ourselves back across 29 to
where we started.

Cockspur 1 – Cum of a Cum 0

First thing that Cum of a Cum and Free P*ssy to Good Home noticed
when we crossed the road…a brand new MVP store (a little known
porn/adult store for those who don't know, keep it to yourself).

Cockspur 1 – Cum of a Cum 1

The pack forged ahead and across a small field that lead to a
neighboring road behind the sound wall. The runners had long since
gone bye-bye at this point so we passed the time waving to
unsuspecting passer bys and almost succeeded in getting a mother and
daughter to leave their vehicle and join in; the power of BEER
compels you, the POWER of Beer compels you

By the time we got to the sound wall the runners had returned from
their darkness trek through the tunnel with the fence in the middle.
Some folks failed to heed the warnings of the Hares and forgot
flashlights; thankfully Dos Cums A Lot brought his and led the way to
victory! Dos has requested MVP gift certificates in lieu of, "thank
yous."

Continuing through the neighborhood and side streets we found
ourselves getting thirsty and wishing for trail to go through the
pool (it didn't). We continued on in varied walking packs discussing
worldly topics (can't mention them here…too worldly and important)
until we found the BEER, and we rejoiced.

Give or take a few minutes we continued (in heat) looking for the 2nd
beer check, that the Hares had promised; we only found water, which
Cum of a Cum saved me from.

Cockspur 1 – Cum of Cum 2

We finally made our way to a main road where we followed the
long/walker split through yet more neighborhood (damn!) and finally
into a new development (not yet a neighborhood) and on to the
pristine property of a friend of EOMA's, who graciously let us fowl
her back yard.

The entire pack missed the 2nd beer check (it was under the evil non-
beer like water) so the Hares added it to the kitty while 14K and
Rodeo played "touch" football. Somehow Tore Ass made it in as FRB
and somewhere between Puke Me Up Buttercup and Split P*ssinality
there was a FBI. DFL was reserved for Closet Slut and Summer's Eve,
who showed up late, had no flashlights and couldn't find the
enormous "L", "W" split.

Violations were many and memorable for all but me, and since I'm
writing this I'll cut to the stuff I do remember. Not even the
impending wrath of angry Norse Gods could sway us from our Hash given
duty of naming Just William, and so it began.

Just William works at the Nissan Pavilion and does some free lance
video production on the side, you may have seen his works on such
recent title as, "Lust in Translation", "Fiddling Nemo"
or "Bebitched"; but I digress.

Surprisingly EOMA had very few stories to lend and the pack got off
to a slow start, but like SH*T rolling down hill things picked up
quickly. Just William shared two things that came up multiple times
in the process, 1) something about a goat being led out of his room
and 2) his response of "Chicken" to Buttercups, "Wonder Twin powers
activate!" statement. These things coupled with his lack of deal
closing during the T.I.T.S. weekend lead us to this:

From now on, at the SH*T hash, and in the world of Hashing (except
GFH3) Just William will be known as: Little C*ck That Won't.
Celebrate among yourselves; I've got to go catch Dos at MVP!

On out
U. Ho

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