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Trail # 200 – Fire and Ice
Hares: The Udder Ho, So hot I'll Turn U Gay, And How's Her Bush, Lube Me Up Scotty and Just Jamie
Visitors: Brown Eyed Bullseye
Returners: Dhamer, Whack-A-Mole, Moroccan Mole, Ass Ogre, Cockspur the Friendly Host, Slipknot, Gladiater, Midget Molester, My Lil' Baloney Pony, P. Ennis, Warmer Bunzs, and others who I'm sure I forgot.
Analversaries: 3 Holes No Waiting – 21, B*tch Where My Money-28, I'd Rather F My Sister – 70, Little C*ck That Won't – 28, Tupperware – 154, Whack-A-Mole – 21, Done In 6 Seconds – 126.
After 200 SH*T's you can imagine how tire I am so I'll just pass along the good and the bad from the night activities.
The Good: • Runners were able to navigate and excellently laid trail, and made it to beer and to finish. • There was queso and ice cream for all who made it back • Just Jamie did a fine job of laying flour. • Not more than 2 quarts of hasher blood was lost on trail; most came from Dick Trashy. • Wookin'Po Nub, in his best Sesame Street impersonation, picked up some kids (in a good way) and explained how we were playing one big a$$ game of "Chase" • Slipknot lead the walker pack • Browneye was FRB on his very first SH*T trail. It might be the last thing he's first at for a long time.
The Bad • Walkers failed to make it in (in reasonable time) to the finish; instead they did the walking tour of Reston Parkway. • Cockspur lost in drinking vessel and was reduced to using a finger bowl for the rest of the evening. • Rosie O'Donnell is replacing Meredith on the View…Seriously, WTF??!??! • Fire in the Cornhole was seen giving his dog oral and it seemed normal to him. • Porn To Fail knocked Done in 6 in the head with the door of the beer vehicle and changed his persuasion from beer to soda. • Gladiater attempted (failed) to beat Billy Goat MF'er in to finish. • Lactose Tolerant was out on an episode of the Simpson's by Millhouse.
There was a lot more that went on and I'm sure someone with more wit and verbal skill could come up with milk spurting hilarity for you. Unfortunately this is what you get for a 200th scribe from "slightly" used Ho who (may or may not have) had too much wine and beer while howling at the Full Moon over this past weekend.
Maybe in time some humor will make it's way back into the trash and you folks at home can once again realize that you truly missed another extraordinary SH*T event and will attempt to rectify it by making the trek to the wilds of outer DC.
Until then keep dreaming of SH*T!
On Out The Udder Ho
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