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Trail #272: The Show Me the Money Trail Arlington, VA (2007-09-11) Hares: AirSpanker-1, B$, and Dead Hare So after 5 years of seeing this hash grow, Some genius decided it would be good for me to preside as HashMaster. Whether or not that was a good idea is a question for next year. Nearly 5 years to the day, we assembled for our 272nd Trail. Conveniently located in Shirlington right around the corner from Cap City we met in the UpperDecker parking lot where we could smell the aromas from restaurant row in Shirlington (best buns, I’m sure). The Secret marathon man was none other than OTH’s RA, Air Spanker-1 and his gimp ankle. We had a new on Sec in Socket and Hand2Hand was hawking hab-goodies. Speaking of goodies, CornHole brought out a veritable feast of yummies, namely fig newtons. Nice spread. As I tested the shocks in SheFingeredMe’s trunk, he broke out his camera from the AGM. There’s a certain point where we both don’t remember what we saw in the pictures, but that’s normal, right? Bad Dog followed me to the other parking structure assuming I knew where I was going. I parked across the street. Little by little, people kept meandering in. it’s getting dark out pretty quickly, so bring your flashlights fer sure. So Wookin pa nub introduced himself as the guest ra for this evening and sent off the Hares. Walkers went to the corner, and runners went down the stairs. This was to be an AtoA prime; which would come into play later…I realized that my batteries in my light were dead, and Slit Lightning scampered off to her finance’s car and lent me their ghetto light. I thanked her and proceeded to split off at the bottom of the stairs to see if I had my other light in my car. People thought I was shortcutting already. Not! So as the pack went East, I grabbed my light, and when I came out I could find neither the pack or flour. So I hightailed it toward the theater, and went into the back, and crossed over the road and found myself in front! Whew! Frb for about 30 seconds. She Fingered Me was on my tail, and there was a runner/walker split that had us cross over this bridge and into an intersection. Everybody went left (correctly) as I followed SFM who ran across a bt. We blew through it and boxed it in to the left. He’s not as fat as me, so he was farther ahead, and while he stayed on the left side of 4mile run, I went across it to find flour. I yelled out for him, but he ignored me. Running Bare and Sr Douche did the same as I, and we found the true trail pointing us back to where the finish would ultimately be. They went looking down 4mile run, and I ran backwards hoping to find the beer check. Alas, I realized I was on Walkers coming in. I eventually made it back to where the trail joined back together and got accosted by a Latino who couldn’t find where his MRI facility was, and wouldn’t leave me alone until I called the service to find out where it was. This took like 5 or 7 minutes, and the recording said it was right next to bungalow billiards where we were to have our après. I tried to explain it to him and then ran off to find trail. Here comes Bad Dog saying I must have really gotten off trail. Ran on ahead and along the creek, where it started getting dark. I came across a whichy way and went across the creek thinking I would pick up trail on the other side. I paralleled the creek behind the ball field and came back across it right where trail joined up again, and lo and behold, I was FRB again when SFM came running up my butt again. We then came across the walkers, and SFM said something to FP about coming across her again. We would see her boobies later. We proceeded up to an intersection that came back on itself. I asked if anybody went to the right and nobody did, and when we got back to the intersection, that’s exactly where trail went. Across the creek, and back into a field where the Beer check was. We got to enjoy some cold gold and I think Spanker ganked Porn’s beer and either broke the glass, or made him drop it. It was humid, and you could see the steam coming off of people’s heads like piles of poop. We were joined on trail by Puke me up buttercup and Billy Goat MOFO with their little Hunter in a stroller. She would summarily dismiss him when they got to finish so she could drink beer while he went home with the kid! Nice. We hung around the beer check and finished off our drinks before the Hares took off to finish trail. I finally got going, and ran up to SlipKnot and congratulated him on being ½ Century old when I ran right into a low hanging bough. Ouch! Trail came out to 4mile run, and I went right. I proceeded on and saw SFM running toward me saying this was walker’s trail. I said f-it and kept on going, while he went back to join the runners. I came up on Porn who told me the same. I pleaded ignorance and continued. As I came to the same spot I was on an hour earlier, I saw FMB and Missing Link running the opposite way. I guess they did the same as I did and just wanted to get a little exercise in. I saw where runners came in, and contemplated for about 30 secs running backwards on runners until the pack caught up. I continued on walkers and Sr. doucheberg sans hashit mind you caught up to me. We ran by what was to be finish and crossed over the bridge where the first runner/walker split was. We thought this wasn’t a good sign, and thought he hares hadnot been through yet, and we headed back to the parking deck, and didn’t see any flour. So we turned around and came back just to find a freaking huge FINISH right where we passed it 4 minutes before. I blamed it on Doucheberg saying he didn’t see it before because it wasn’t written in Spanish. So we finished in a parking lot loading dock. The pack started filtering in, and Free Pu$$y started complaining that this wasn’t really atoa prime and that she needed to get the books and headbands. Hand2Hand had the books and some headbands, but that didn’t change the fact that FP was too lazy to go and get them. She quelled the angry mob by lifting her shirt and appeasing the gods. All is right with the universe. Circle was run, running bare and Ahhb got called in for a private party where we borrowed the long arm of the law from SFM, and those two got around giving themselves golden showers. Nub introduced the new mismanagement, and then the pack headed off to Bungalow Billiards. I couldn’t stay, so you’ll have to get the rub from somebody else. On Out, 14kt
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