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Trail #279: The Trick or Beer Trail - Ballston, VA (2007-10-30)
Hares: White Kane, Holy F@ck, LubeMeUpScotty, FarteenK
Boo! Happy Halloween! We had a costume hash with 75 close
friends. Almost everybody got dressed up. Most notably, BigDogDumDum
came out with a scrooge/grinch like attitude by 1.) not dressing up and
2.) bitching about not having a running trail. Why not dress like a
geisha and the kabuki make-up that is his SunBlock One Million?
I was having trouble getting to start, thinking that it would be
important to be there on time. Not! When I show up, 2 out of the 4
hares are already 3 sheets to the wind (Kane and Holy). They had
already laid trail as it was designed to be a TrickOrBeer Romp in the
neighborhood. CornHole was decked out on these huge stilts in a green
freakish get up that made him conveniently at BJ level for most
harriettes. He would stumble around feigning drunkenness just to run
his junk in unsuspecting females. His truck had a hoodie on it and two
kegs flowing away. Sam Adams was in one, and I don't care what was
in the other. I filled up a cup in time to take off for Hares Away.
They were about to send the pack off, but I started running with a flour
bag to mark trail. So far there were only chalk marks on the road. I
had no idea where trail was going, I just followed it and laid flour to
help mark it. I had about a 5 minute head start, which was plenty when
the whole pack was walking. It was fun running by yourself dressed up
as a huge-ass Whoopee Cushion (not Whoopi Goldberg as Permanently
Screwed thought) with people walking their dog or when I had to cross
the street. I had a cup of beer and flour bag in one hand chugging
along, and flashlight in the other. I passed the first shot check and
continued on. I traipsed around the neighborhood, and came down to
where Mellow ForeSkin Cheese lives. He graciously let us convene in his
back yard. He would let people into his house to use the bathroom, and
we chatted as the remainder of the pack came in. We ran into PotHole
fresh from Jamaica in a Rasta Hat. I wonder where he got that…A
couple coolers of beer later, and the pack went off. I went to grab my
flour bag, and somebody took it. Apparently one of the other hares took
off with it to lay the remainder of the trail…Next stop after a
checkback that got most of the pack was PutsItOut/SucksMyDick house. We
gathered up on his porch while he was chilling out in his living room
swigging some Magic Hat. There were more coolers of jell-o shots
dispensed. After the appropriate time, we headed out once again and
made our way back to the parking structure over SickySick. Back to
Start and on to the real debauchery of handing out Blow Jobs. Shaggins
was nice enough to offer up her cleavage and Summer's Eve was off to
the races making up his concoctions. Whipped cream and all. Some
harriers got into the fun for the girls as well. I think Craptain
America (Nub) took one for the team. We had some really clever outfits.
Standouts were the Fascinating Emma Peel from the Avengers. So soft yet
alluring hot black leather tight niceness. And a pistol to boot. FYI,
the name "Emma Peel" is a play on the phrase "Man Appeal" or "M.
Appeal", which was one of the required elements of the character. Now
you know, and you are smarter for reading this crap. How real do you
feel, Mrs. Peel? I really liked BatGirl, and Hand2Hand's rendition
of a USO starlet equipped with kneepads to `service the troops'
was both thoughtful and patriotic. Fuxedo was a friggin hottie, and we
did have a cutesy kabuki girl (not Bad Dog!). Hopefully we'll get
some pics up. Kane had his camera going, but he kept on saying that he
was doing this all from that cuff as he was really really drunk. By the
way, he had a bad ass Voodoo king outfit befitting Live and Let Die.
B'money was keeping his pimp hand strong in his purple duds.
BeenPimpinSinceBeenPimpin! Let's not forget Chasing the Bush's
hot little legs in her #69 Soccer Ref outfit. How high do those legs go
up? Udder was in rare form as well sporting his playhare shirt.
There were many outfits that I didn't describe and I apologize for
that, but gimme a break, it's been almost a week. Like I said, I
think some pics will show up somewhere.
Then Circle started. Now that's a joke with some 75 drunk people
that don't want to listen, because they need some more liquid
antifreeze. We did have some virgins and some visitors. We tried to
get things going so that we could hit the Front Page. Kane handed out
prizes for the best dressed Male/Female. I believe Fuxedo won as did
ManAppeal. In the end, we kicked both kegs, three gallons of liquor,
and 200 jell-o shots. Where was Dixie Queen?
On Out,
14kt
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