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Trail #282: The I'm Going to Run Your Ass Off So You Have Room for
Turkey Trail - Sterling, VA (Home-Sweet-Home)
(2007-11-20)
Hares: And How's Her Bush, Motor Mouth, Our Own
Vanny and Naval Jelly
So we land back in the nether regions of Sterling….On a
blustery warm night, anything could go. We saw the return of our own
Sheriff LongJohnTaylor or Hermes for short. We had some visitors from
the Git'mo bay hash Pufter the magic dragon and Poopy Party. One of
our favorites came out, SideShowBoobs and her Balkan friend Ball
Breaker. I'm making these names up as I can't remember what
they were. Cornhole brought out two new friends too. A new beer wagon,
and a burly-bearded beer-guarding behemoth. Again I forgot his name
too. He was a good sport with a monster grip. And let's not forget
FayLay. Maybe she likes burly bearded behemoths, who knows? Watergate
came out for the warm weather, and unfortunately had to leave early. We
had our OTH track contingent ass well. Herpes (sorry, Hercules) likes
her some Mowgli. She ended up the evening with his pants and Chuck
Norris' socks and shoes. That is some quick work. One-Eyed
FrankenFoot showed up too.
With AHHB back at the helm of haring duty with his boy wonder, Motor
Mouth, what could possibly go wrong? Throw in two nawlin'ers and we
got the recipe for some LA HotSauce trail curdling gumbo…
So we sent the hares off promptly at 7, as I headed off to get dressed
and share some beer with my UdderBrudder. He was wearing these loud ass
Thrasher shorts, a perfect accompaniment to Hermes' Bright Puke
Green shirt. What a pair! After introductions and a `ather Abraham
which consisted of me putting on my shoes and socks, we were off. The
pack headed over Algonkian and passed an swarth that I thought would be
a check back and eventually ended up being finish. Trail continued
north of Algonkian and eventually banged left along the back side of
some houses. We came up to a paved path that had the long/walker split.
Walkers went left and runners went straight. We then hit an
intersection that would go to the right, but I kept on going straight,
thinking they would eventually have to come back on this path. I
continued on by myself, and picked up some awesome trail treasure…a
broken lacrosse stick with webbing intact. I would later hold beers in
it. I came to an opening upon which I knew had to be where trail went,
but I continued straight, still without flour. Trail actually went down
that path, but I would find that out later…
Then what do I hear in the foreground but the dinning of
MotorMouth's Mouth. And low and behold, here come AHHB and MM
coming right at me. They probably were wondering who the clown with the
lacrosse stick was and I asked them where the beer check was. AHHB told
me to follow trail backwards, which is what I did. I came to a huge
fence with a gate that I could certainly not fit through. A man's
got to know his limitations. So instead, I ran down the fenceline to an
egregious breach that a water buffalo could navigate. So I went into
the Golf Course and headed north without flour. I guessed that I was
probably not on trail again, but I saw lights to my right and eventually
headed back into the woods where I found flour and pack. They told me
the beer check was about 100 yards back. So I passed people with my
stick (they were all envious) and made it to the beer check re-united
with my udder brudder. We had a beer and took off. I took an extra one
just in case. Now Udder tried to go with the pack, and I said I knew
better, and we took the high ground. People were asking us what we were
looking for and we promply answered Beer. So the pack stayed in the
notsoeasilytraversable tree line, while Udder and I stayed high and got
ahead of them while they were negotiating the gate. They caught up to
us and we cut right down behind some other houses where I held an
impromptu beer check where P.screwed Hercules and Lube shared the cold
gold. On across a little creek, and we were greeted by dogs and people
on their back decks. We went around the houses and back down a familiar
path where we had a check back that brought us back on the same path as
before. Socket and Udder and I led the pack on until we got to another
checkback. This is where Socket and Udder fell prey to my ignorance. I
thought for sure they would loop back on the same path and then head
back up to Algonkian. But no. they stuck with me, and we ended up
doing another half mile out and half mind back to where we would have
been had we stayed with the pack. I don't feel so bad. It was a
beautiful night, we were chatting, and they were training for the Celtic
5 miler in a couple of weeks. When we got back to Algonkian, we cut
left and eventually found an intersection and we headed back to start.
Up until trail cut left and down into a gully. Socket and I stayed
high, while Udder pressed on true trail. We thought the finish would be
behind the shopping plaza, but it was across the street. Socket went to
get her headbands and I went to get some beers.
Kane showed up in time to help with Violations in a pith helmet from
Dora or Carmen san diego. It got tested with some shrubbery that tested
kane's patience. FrankenFoot threw out some bocce balls for good
measure, and I forgot to call the hares in for their trail.
Not surprisingly, the trail was well laid with plenty of flour in the
woods, with a nice blue hue to boot. Great Job Hares. We wished
everyone a safe happy thanksgiving, and proceeded to the Fox Chase
Tavern so Spike could get his fix of Cheese fries.
On-Out,
14K
Return to trash list
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