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Trail # 326, “The Adventures of Davey and Sir aka Don’t Step on the Cat and Crayfish Trail” September 16, 2008 Hares: Sir Shaves A Lot, Davey Crotch Itch, Copus Interruptus First thing people bitched about were the directions. Yes, it was just an aerial photo of the start (a nondescript parking lot in Reston), but I’m sure the hares meant well. Our oh-so-sexy webmaster at least gave you a link to the approximate spot via MSN maps (although under directions I love it that he put, “F* it. Happy searching.”). Was this an ominous sign of things to come??? Somehow, wankers managed to get to the start with little difficulty. There were a couple of mishaps getting to start, most notably Herpes and Permanently Screwed, but that may have actually been a cover for some ‘alone time.’ Boinky boinky? The Udder Ho opened circle and sent the hares on their way. Luckily there was only one way off the parking deck that was accessible to us so we knew we wouldn’t get lost for at least the first 100 feet. Udder then introduced the visitors and virgins at which point My C0ck Shoots Blanks had a moment with some visiting dude from Sembach in the middle of circle. If you weren’t there, picture two sumo wrestlers coming together in an ecstatic embrace of brotherly love. Then add beer and a kilt and you’ll get a good idea of what the circle witnessed. We did our usual warm ups and started off on trail. Trail led us down the stairs of the parking structure and through Reston Town Center. That was fun! Not just for us but for all the tourists, happy hour goers, families going out to dinner, security guards, homeless people, etc. that we ran past. I think the security guard was more amused than pissed, but I didn’t stop to find out. We got out of the town center and then picked up trail over near the W&OD. At this point there was a bl0w job up some stairs to the W&OD just to come back down and basically jump in the creek. We followed the creek back and forth – discovering hole and hole after hole. (And I’m not just talking about the harriettes on trail…) Trail led us through tick infested woods right up to the edge of the toll road. Gets Off Easy and I actually came out on the toll road but didn’t see an ‘On Over’ so we decided we must have lost trail somewhere in the woods. At this point, we lost trail so the trash for that part of trail goes like this: Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Lost and walking Easy and I made it back to start and waited about 15 minutes for the first car run people to find us and take us to the end (thank you Nuclear Jism). We got to the end and circle was already under way. It was being done by a combination of Udder, Summer’s Eve and the masses. It also appeared that many, many people had quite a bit to drink on trail. There were rumors of some sort of flamingo gasoline thing that I gathered was a drink and not actual gasoline, but who knows with this group… I believer Permanently Screwed was awarded the hashit, but I don’t really know. There was some wrestling going on that distracted me. Roll Back Prices and Bitch, Where My Money? Were trying to beat each other up and then I Can’t Believe It’s Not Herpes tried to take on Roll Back Prices. I don’t know who won but it was fun to watch. The po-po had already stopped by to say hello and were watching circle (and the wrestling) from a safe distance so we kept things short. The pack then retired to Jimmy’s at which point more drinking, shooting (as in shots, not people) and general cavorting ensued… I do love me some Jimmy’s – they have awesome fries but important safety tip: they will not deep fat fry a turkey for you. That’s all I got. Lube Me Up Scotty
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